22 October 2014

Christmas 2014

It is somehow, once again, that time of year where I begin to think about things I would like if someone were to ask me what I'd like for Christmas.

Here's what I have so far:
1. This Starbucks cup.
2. These bracelets.
3. This stamp.
4. This Feather bracelet
5. THIS PLANNER!!!

And for the kiddos:
Anna
Bennett

07 April 2014

Tiny Little Things

This is just silly, short little list of tiny things that are a bit of a splurge but have made me happy:

1. Peanut Butter Truffle from DeBrand's
2. Butterball Bath Bomb from LUSH
3. Iced Animal Cookies from the One Spot at Target.
4. Grande, two-pump vanilla latte from Starbucks

All of these are less than $5.

:)


24 July 2013

7/23/13

A decision was recently made among what is arguably the most important group of people I have been involved with for the last 14 years. It was a decision that, in my (somewhat biased) opinion, and apparently as well as the opinion of a majority of the people in the group, was handled poorly and yes, unethically. After much consideration, I carefully constructed an email in response to the decision and sent it to the group of 6 leaders who made the decision. I only received one and a half responses, one of which accused me of burning bridges, suggested that my parent lied to me, and never really answered any of my questions. With the exception of 4 women my age, no one has contacted me since I made it known that my family is leaving this group of people that I have been an active member of for FOURTEEN years.

"...or we say nothing at all and keep our distance, feeling ill equipped to speak from our lack of knowledge and understanding.

Surprisingly, saying nothing is far worse than saying the wrong thing. The last thing a wounded friend needs is to wonder if their pain is too awkward for your friendship. Saying nothing may cause them to question if your friendship was shallow and only available when life was easy."

That said, I guess I'll just put it all behind me and move forward. I sure am thankful for the "Wilson Girls," Molly, and my friends and family outside of the church.


Quote from this article

Responses:

  • Kathryn Patterson So sorry you're hurting. I'm nit aware of the details, but if you want to, feel free to message me. I know when I felt abandoned by people close to me how much that hurt.
  • Susan Kellerby Callaway I am so sorry you are hurting. I am so sorry that circumstances bring so much hurt in the church. Randy and I felt like we were hit in the stomach and all the wind knocked out of us when we heard from your dad. Experience does give us empathy for those who go through similar pain even though the details might be different. Randy was never fired just pummeled into heart disease. I was fired. No one from the "church" we knew came to us. No one. We were deemed the problem without a hearing. We will NOT be those person to you and your family. We are here when you are ready to talk, pray or just cry. We will not judge. We will merely be friends who care. The church has become a cold business in some places, where people are as indispensable as last week's bulletin. This is not being bitter or resentful. Just makes me sickened when it happens over and over to good, honest people.
  • Jessica Meyers I am so sorry.
  • Janell Baute Nice read. Praying.
    Yesterday at 2:49pm via mobile · Like · 1
  • Deb McCreight Good article and good advice!
  • Kathryn Patterson I read Susan's post. I'm so sorry Carrie! What church's do to people that love and care for them makes me sick. I will keep the whole situation in my prayers. I went through a similar situation almost two years ago. It still makes me sick. Losing the support if friends was the hardest part. I know you and your family and I don't believe your dad's ministry is anywhere near over. And Susan, your words were well spoken and I echo the sentiment. I am a friend who cares. I hope you get some extra hugs from your little ones today.
  • Kylie McCartney We are thankful for you and your family and we are sure going to miss seeing you all every Sunday...sad sad sad 
    Yesterday at 3:46pm via mobile · Like · 1
  • Vicki Isch Fiechter Thinking of you and your family a lot Carrie. Sorry for what's happened and the way it was handled. Praying for all of you!
  • Brandie Dafforn I am so thankful for you and your family! We were blessed to get to know you and become such good friends and we will continue our friendship for many many years to come! We love you!
  • Kay Royer Cocklin Carrie - Joel just came home from work and told me about the situation. My heart hurts for your dad and the rest of the family. Wish we were closer. I become so angered when things like this happen within the body of Christ. I will be praying for t...See More
  • Linda Rhosan Horwedel Miller Forward is the only way to go!! Thinking of all of you.
    22 hours ago via mobile · Unlike · 1
  • Joshua L. Arnold gggmmmmmm Fear leads to greed greed leads to hate hate leads to pain and pain leads to the dark side, yes

03 June 2013

Choice

A few year ago, I had a relative post the following quote as her Facebook status:
Choose your attitude each day, own it, and don't let others determine your happiness.
As soon as I read it, I knew that I needed to believe it, to own it, to reflect on it, and to make it a part of my life. For a few years, I tried to make it my first thought when I woke up for the day. When I lived alone, I had it written everywhere. Somewhere along the lines I forgot about it.

Despite the way I may appear in a public setting, I struggle with a negative attitude on a regular basis. It is something I constantly battle. I'm pessimistic. I'm angry. I'm stressed out. I'm anxious. And often times I'm just down right paranoid. Paranoid that bad things are going to happen, that people don't like me, that I'm failing as a mother, housekeeper, wife, that nothing I do really matters, that no one cares about the things I care about, and that a freaking sink hole is going to swallow me up (literally). It's annoying to me and it's annoying to my husband and I'd like to get it under control so that it doesn't annoy my children.

So, back to this simple little quote.

I have come to realize that we have a choice every single day. We can choose happiness, joy, and a positive attitude. We get to choose how we respond and react to things. We choose the words that come out of our mouths. We get to choose the people we surround ourselves with and the messages and information that we allow to enter into our minds.

Sometimes it's easy to wake up and choose to be positive for the day but sometimes it's a choice that I have to consciously make every single minute. And sometimes I forget.

I have also come to learn that some of us are predisposed to a certain mentality. I come from a line of anxious, not-always-positive thinkers. These are people that I love and who have many attributes that I strive  towards for myself. I am blessed to have directly descended from a brilliant man who not only acknowledges his issues but who has, in his own way, been open and honest with his struggles and his attempt to be better. And through that, if no one else (although I believe he has affected many), he has changed my life so much. He has allowed me to see for myself that I need to make a conscience effort to change. That I am not limited and that saying, "it's just the way I am," is not an excuse. Through God's mercy and grace, I can be better, I can forgive myself, and others will eventually forgive me for my shortcomings.

It is especially important on Mondays to choose a good attitude. Allow it to set the tone for the rest of the week. Let whatever happened last week stay there. Start a fresh, new day. A fresh, new week.

"Choose your attitude each day, own it, and don't let others determine your happiness."

Much love.

30 March 2013

Goals

I believe in setting goals. When I became I stay at home mom I quickly felt worthless, defeated, and lazy. I needed to remedy my problem fast so naturally, I Googled it. Turns out, I wasn't the only mom who felt that way. Turns out, a lot of women had experienced the same exact feelings and they blogged about it. I wish I would have saved a link to my most favorite mom blog from two years ago (but come on, that was before Pinterest people!) so I could give her credit for this idea but no such luck.

Anyway, this wise woman suggested making a tangible list of daily, monthly, and yearly goals that could be crossed off when completed. Without receiving a pay check for my work, I can, at the very least, look at said list with all of it's glorious strike-throughs and say, "yeah, I completed all of those things WITH a baby on my hip and a toddler screaming on the floor." 

Some day, maybe I'll share the method to my madness. But not today. Today, I have decided to share my 2012 and 2013 yearly goals. This is a big step for me. I'm a firm believer in not sharing things that you may fail at. It saves embarrassment. We've all seen people post, "big interview today. Hope I get the job" on Facebook and then, sadly, they have to make up some excuse as to why they didn't get the job when everyone wants to know the outcome. Why not just go to your interview in secret? Then, don't get the job? No one knows. Get the job and experience the joy of sharing your great news with the social media world!! No one even knew you had applied and YOU DID IT!

But it's time to suck it up. And, to be honest, I've found my trusty notebook under the couch, in the toy box, and next to the bathroom sink too many times for comfort. I've got a toddler who is bound and determined to hold her pen just like mommy and she loves mommy's green notebook. I can't lose this list.

Ok, here it goes (slightly edited. You don't need to know ALL of my business).

2012
Personal
Read the entire Bible
Drink 64 oz of water a day
Lose baby weight (I made it to within 5 pounds and then got pregnant again)
Pay bills early/on time
Be more positive!
Read 1 non-fiction book for every fiction
Write Aunt ME once a month
Grow hair long enough for a sock bun
Use sewing machine

Food
Bake a homemade pie
Whole turkey (I've done a million whole chickens...we lost out turkey to the power outage)
Ham
Lasagna
Home made pasta
Cinnamon Rolls

Family
Teach Anna to walk
Teach Anna to hug
Get pregnant
Take a family vacation

The House
Clean/Organize extra bedroom
Do something with the mudroom
Get rid of a bunch of crap
Organize the basement
Hang something on these dang walls
Figure out the weird "fireplace" area
Make the sun porch more fun


2013
Personal
Continue good habits formed last year
Talk to the Dr about my 'intense-ness' and do something about it
Read the NT
Run a 5k
Get back to the 120s
Use sewing machine
Find a hobby/group, even if it's just an exercise class

Food
Homemade Noodles
Ham  (I think it was good. It was quickly followed by the flu thereby ruining my desire to eat ham)
Turkey
Cheesecake
Cinnamon Rolls  (actually, the dough is rising RIGHT THIS VERY SECOND)

Family
Go on a vacation (Myrtle Beach in June, woo hoo)
Finish the family binder
Budget
Get Anna in some type of class (Tried this, 2 is too young for gymnastics)
Get Bennett on a sleep schedule
Pay off something

The House
Finish the shower window
Weird "fireplace" area
Mud room 
Add some curb appeal out front
Fence in that back yard
New back door

There ya have it, folks. I'm feeling pretty good about this year.

21 December 2012

26 Bells

This is another post that comes from something I would like to make a facebook status but I won't - so please don't share this (if anyone reads it).

Our country just had a moment of silence for the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary school. 20 children and six adults were shot and killed by a another white, 20 year old male using semi-automatic weapons. The people working for the news announced that 26 bells would be rung to represent the 26 lives lost. But wait, there were 27 lives lost. The killer took his own life as well. I'm not saying we should have rung a bell to honor Adam Lanza but I think a bell 27th bell should have been rung.

We rang 26 bells to honor the lives of those who were killed but I think we should have rung a 27th bell to remember Adam Lanza - another victim of mental illness who didn't get the help he needed. I'm not excusing what he did. There are A LOT of people with mental illness who don't receive help and who don't commit awful, unspeakable crimes. We can blame his parent's, his family, his community, the fact that his mother allegedly taught him how to shoot the guns that she owned for whatever reason, etc. But it doesn't matter - what's done is done and one fact remains - as a country we are mostly choosing to ignore his death, his illness, his suicide.

These just aren't things that you can say out loud without harsh reprimand. People will hate your for saying that a 27th bell should have been rung.

And I know, maybe I would react differently if my own child had been involved. It almost makes me sick to my stomach to think that one day I'll have to send them off to school alone but I hope that I would react similarly to the way victim Emilie Parker's father, Robbie, reacted - because I think that's what Jesus would do.

Anyway, that was my reaction to what just happened.

03 August 2012

Not my facebook status

Sometimes you just need to put something out there and facebook isn't the place.

I know that sometimes I take things to personally but I'm not sure how to not take a recent situation personally.

I've heard that being a pastor's kid can be tough. I've known enough pastor's kids in my life to believe that for a lot of them, life was especially tough just because one of their parents is/was a pastor. I just never experienced that in my life. Maybe it's because I was in HS when my dad first became a pastor but I didn't go through almost anything that most pastor's kids go through (thankfully).

However, being the adult child of the pastor of the church you attend can be tough. For the past 13 years I really felt like people considered me a contributing member of our congregation. My parent's never pressured my brother or myself to attend church, we just always did. And we both still do - willfully. We are both very active in the churches that we attend. I'm pretty positive that if I attended another church I would be just as active even if my dad wasn't the pastor. That's who I am. It's something of value to me. I attend church, contribute financially to church, participate in church, participate in extra-curricular church activities, contribute to a small group at church, bake cookies for church, help in the nursery and church, etc. because I WANT to and felt LED to. Not because my parent's make me feel like I have to (okay, I only volunteered for Jr. Worship because I felt bad that no one else had but I don't think that should count against me). I always thought people knew that and respected that - especially because most people my age don't do those things willfully.

Lately I've just really started to feel like I've misled myself. It would appear that some people still see me as the 14 year old girl who goes to church with her parent's - not a 27 year old wife and  mother of almost two children who is an active member of the church. It hurts, it sucks, and I'm not sure what to do about it.

For the past few months it just seems like whenever I help with something or participate in conversations people are thinking, "aw, that's cute, look at the pastor's daughter grown up and helping her daddy." It seems like my husband is treated the same way. And I'm sure my mom feels the same a lot of the time as well.

News flash - we (Drew, my mom, and myself) are pulling a whole lot of weight in your little congregation and it's not because my dad is forcing us to! We do it because we care about the church and we feel that as followers of Christ we are called to actively participate in congregational worship.

I'm not 14. I am a 27 year old woman who can think for herself.

I'm just not sure how to prove that.

Don't get me wrong, when someone does something in the church that is hurtful, it hurts me on two levels - as a member of the church and as the daughter of the pastor. I don't see anyway around that but I don't think that me being the pastor's daughter carries as much weight as people think it does. My parent's have treated my brother and I as independent, thinking adults for quite a few years now.  They still help us out as our parent's but there's a type of mutual respect between us and them that I don't see between most people my age and their parents. I am so thankful for the relationship that I have with my parent's and I'm thankful that they let us be who we are - they developed us into adults and they don't hold our hands through everything. It has allowed us to develop our own opinions - yes, influenced by them - but we can think for ourselves.

I'm just not sure what to do anymore but hopefully I'll sleep a little better knowing that this is written down somewhere and not taking up space in my head.